“Last night sergio valenti customized some denim for meSpecial for my special shape, they fit me perfectly
Now I've got this new ensemble, certain circles I'm a bombshell
But a guardian anglo keeps saying "negro please" “
One time half of The Moldy Peaches and solo anti-folk maven Kimya Dawson is one of my inspirations for unabashed self expression. She is a unique entity all her own, and she’s never apologized or sought to change that. The lyrics in songs like “5 Years” (You can listen to the song clip at the end of this post.) show both her pride and shame at not fitting a cookie cutter beauty, racial, or gender mold. Some may rebuff the "shame" remark. But stop and think about it a minute. How many women, transgender, minority, or just plain different people feel ashamed about who they are? I include myself in this as a strange, quirky girl who seldom fit(s) in anywhere. One of the biggest manifestations of that on my part was hating myself as I am looks-wise. I think a lot of people go through that. Whether it's based on impossible societal beauty standards shoved down our throats in myriad ways I'll leave for another post. But I remember feeling shame for being who I am "Maybe I should just conform to something I'm not because it will make other people less uncomfortable." I'd always rebuke myself later, because despite all the mental noise at the core I liked who I was and others who were strong enough to just be themselves with no apologies. The "ugly duckling"/grass is greener is always in the subconscious, but there is an evolution that happens when you realize beauty has a thousand onion layers.
"5 years" and Kimya Dawson's body of work really encompasses that sentiment as a whole.
Click here for a clip of "5 Years".